my 4-part guide to personal transformation

For me, personal transformation – the improvement of my Self and Life – has been my principal focus and the subject of endless experimentation for the last 40 or so years.

While the only “truth” I’ve discovered is that that there is no particular recipe for success, there are a few guiding principles or patterns that have emerged often enough that I consider them effective guidelines within the overall process.

So if you are considering embarking on your own personal transformation path, here they are, organized into four distinct phases, along with a few caveats.

Naturally you will need to adjust and adapt my suggestions to the requirements of your unique character, mindset and circumstances. Also, some of these concepts may be unfamiliar to you, and so require a lot of thought just to get them situated for use. And some may not even make any sense until you are halfway into them.

Don’t worry, this is all to be expected given the extraordinarily complex nature of….YOU! Just keep in mind that I’m trying to explain what I think needs to get done; how you do it is up to you. So please follow these guidelines to whatever extent you see fit, at whatever speed & pace suits you, and don’t get discouraged even if you stall out from time to time – just never, ever quit on yourself.


phase 1 of 4 – Embracing Possibility

Prepare Yourself for Genuine Transformation

1.1   Clear your mental workspace.

  • You need to start this process with a clear mental workspace. So make sure your mind is free of debris so you can move around freely without bumping into anything. i.e. If you need to be creative, say, by taking off your clothes and running from one end of the room to the other with your eyes closed, then you’d better be certain you are not going to step or run into anything, right?

1.2   Permit creative thought by letting go of your certainty.

  • What is creativity? Creativity is freedom. Freedom from constraints, from rigidity. So creative thought comes from feeling that you are not restricted to or by anything. As you don’t need to be sure of anything right now, let go of your certainty; not being sure at this point is ok!

1.3   Envision your Ideal Scenario, your Vision of what you really want.

  • Envision what you want for yourself, any way you want. Go ahead! Just make sure that it is all what you want, not what you think you should want or what others think you should want.

1.4   Cultivate the belief that it’s possible for your Vision to exist.

  • You need to believe that the Vision you’ve just created really could exist; whatever you envisioned, it could actually become a reality! Ask yourself: “Why couldn’t it?” And keep working with this until you get to trusting the feeling of “Why not!” with a confident inner smile!



phase 2 of 4 – Cementing your Desire

Tee Yourself Up to Succeed

2.1   Cultivate the belief that it’s possible for your Vision to not only exist, but to exist in your world!

  • This step is about bringing the two ideas of “Why Not!” and “Why Not ME!” into alignment in your mind; it’s about accepting the possibility of your Vision becoming a reality in your own Life.

2.2    Stimulate your desire & motivation by going beyond possibility (“it could happen…”) to potential (“it can happen!”).

  • The purpose of this step is for you to become deeply & powerfully motivated. One way to generate such genuine motivation is through moving yourself from accepting two-dimensional possibility into feeling three-dimensional potential: “This really can happen; to ME, for ME! It can happen because I’m the one to do it. This is pretty neat, I’m liking this. Ok, I’m getting excited now.”



phase 3 of 4 – Fueling & Gearing Up

Get In the Driver’s Seat

3.1    Move yourself from feeling that “it can happen!” to believing that “it will happen!”, based on a clear understanding that the fundamental law governing everything in our Universe is Increase.

  • What you need most here is to believe that there is a fundamental law governing the motion of everything in our Universe; it is Increase, and as part of the Universe yourself, you are included in it too. Keep in mind that the nature of this Universal force (whatever you ascribe it to – a being, a power or science – is not important here) is Increase for all; not taking away anything from anybody else, but natural abundance for all.

3.2   Understand and accept that through aligning your thoughts & actions with this Universal law, you will experience (realize) your Vision – it will become your reality.

  • Here is where you need to understand that the way your Vision becomes reality is through your behaving in alignment with all the potential resources in your Universe. You must accept that the only way to be in alignment with Increase is to keep yourself in control of what you’re thinking & feeling, rather than fighting with or trying to control external forces.


phase 4 of 4 – Piloting Your Life

Make It All Work

4.1   Take it upon yourself to “make your Vision happen!”

  • Make the conscious decision to commit yourself completely to the responsibility of keeping yourself in alignment with Increase, by choosing to think & feel the way you want to think & feel about it – all the time! Not easy, but possible!

4.2    Identify particular thoughts and specific feelings that are in alignment with, will contribute to, and will sustain the Vision you’ve created.

  • Create patterns, routines and resources that support you in thinking, feeling, and behaving as you wish. And engage them relentlessly.

You are unique, and so is your transformation process. Trust that you are worth the effort, believe in the power of your mind, and you will achieve the transformation you desire. Never, ever, ever give up.

“A man cannot be saved by someone else’s efforts or protests, but only by the use of his own will.”  ~ Nikola Tesla

a common conundrum

You find yourself avoiding making choices, because you are afraid to make the “wrong” choice – you could find yourself STUCK, with no freedom to escape the consequences of that choice.

Naturally, you want to avoid this at all costs, so you decide to not make the choice.

However, doing this leaves you feeling STUCK in a different way – maybe even a worse way – in LIMBO!

Clearly, to avoid feeling STUCK in LIMBO, the only option is to make the choice.

But that brings us full circle: What if it’s the “wrong” choice? Then you’d be STUCK in that choice with no freedom to escape the consequences of that choice.

Quite the conundrum, it would seem.

But as always, there is a way. In fact, the only way to break out of this Catch-22 is to decide that making any choice – right or wrong – is infinitely better than not making the choice!

The key to success here is the following realization: Discovering that you’ve made the wrong choice does not “trap” you in that choice. What will trap you in it is only your willingness to live with it rather than make the effort – or take the risk – of changing your path or circumstances at that point in time.

So, rather than living in fear of making a bad or wrong choice, I’d recommend you focus instead on cultivating a willingness to adapt or change, when necessary. Once you have confidence in your capability, you’ll no longer need to fear getting STUCK in any bad or wrong choice.

“Pliability is a living hand, fixedness is a dead hand.” – Musashi


quick reference guide

Here is a handy user guide as to the key differences among Determination, Stubbornness, and Defiance.

DETERMINATION is about focusing on achieving a specific desired outcome. So it is holding to one consistent ideal because you believe that a specific approach based on that ideal will deliver that specific desired outcome.

STUBBORNNESS is about refusing to adjust your current rationale regardless of the outcome. Your rationale may not be the best one, it may not even be the right one, but you do have a rationale for clinging to your position or opinion. The thing is, you just refuse to adapt it to the requirements of your circumstances.

DEFIANCE is about automatically rejecting the possibility of any alternative to whatever it is you currently have in mind. Note that what you “have in mind” is seldom any one specific fact or idea anchored in a specific belief. As you have no specific rationale supporting your position, defiance reflects simply a mindless refusal to be moved.

So, which one are you – determined, stubborn or defiant? All of us – right or wrong – are probably all three at some point, on certain issues, at different times.

What you may want to ask yourself is: “Which one would I like my default setting to be?” And then perhaps work assiduously to make it so….?