When you make a serious mistake – and we all do from time to time – how do you (a) transform it from disappointment into a learning experience, and (b) resolve to not repeat that same mistake again?
The key is to discipline yourself to remain brutally objective, and most importantly avoid the allure of self-pity in any of its comfortable forms.
Consider: If you let self-pity seep in while you are reflecting on your mistake, then your reflections rapidly & inevitably spin in the direction of self-punishment, and you end up trapped in a morass of self-pity & regret. Thus occupied, you are not likely to recognize facts and understand why you made the mistake in the first place. The outcome? You are most likely doomed to repeat that mistake in the future.
If, however, you doggedly refuse to permit self-pity to gain any purchase during your reflections, then once you’ve thoroughly understood why you originally made the mistake, you are in a position of power to resolve to never make it again.
Remember: By just refusing to allow self-pity to pollute your thinking, your personal power increases tenfold.