the fickle finger of frustration

There are several things wrong with the complaint: “I feel frustrated with myself!”. 

First off, the root of the word “frustration” is the Latin “frustra”, which means “in vain”. So “frustration” implies that any efforts you make are futile because you are powerless to control your self.

However, since only you can be in control of how & what you feel, it’s technically impossible to be powerless over your self

So what’s happening here? Well, you’re telling yourself that some external force is acting upon your thinking or feeling or both and controlling them against your will. What you are essentially doing is simply pointing the finger of blame.

But here’s the thing about blame: It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re pointing the finger of blame at, when you’re blaming you’re saying “I’m not responsible for the outcome!” That’s what blame means. 

So when you say “I’m frustrated with myself”, you’re in effect saying “I’m not responsible for whatever I’m doing that I’m upset with”, which is both reprehensibly childish and inaccurate. 

Bear in mind: Every time you blame – and so complain about being powerless – you believe a little bit more that it’s actually valid. A dangerously steep & slippery slope indeed….