Tag: Self-Management

Perspectives

there are three types of people

by Paul Joo

“There are 3 types of people in the world – those who can count and those who can’t.”

Sorry – couldn’t resist that one….. 🙂

Actually, there really are three types of people in the world, or perhaps more accurately three basic types of motivational driver that essentially govern the way we all end up conducting our lives.

Fact is, people are driven by focusing the lion’s share of their daily thinking & feeling primarily on Being, Doing or Having.

So ask yourself: “Which have I been focused on?” You may be surprised at what you find.

At the end of the day, I believe the key to living well is for each of us to find our own unique moving average of all three of these drivers. Not easy by any means, but worth the effort.

Why not give it a try?

Perspectives

survival, evasion, resistance & escape

by Paul Joo

SERE is an acronym for a program that provides U.S. military personnel with training in evading capture & survival skills; it stands for Survival, Evasion, Resistance & Escape.

So what does this have to do with anything? Well, I’ve found that this idea of “evasion & survival” often applies to most of us – specifically in response to taking responsibility for unpleasant challenges that crop up in our everyday lives. In our case, however, perhaps a more appropriate acronym is DDD, which stands for Deflect, Divert and Distance.

DDD describes our (unfortunately) common responses when we have both the need & responsibility to face unpleasant thoughs, feelings or associations.

Deflect – We often deflect our attention from an unpleasant thought, feeling or association to “anywhere else!”: “Oh boy, look at that dust buildup, I’d better get on that right now!” Etc.

Divert –  We often divert our focus from an unpleasant thought, feeling or association to “anything else!”, such as daily tasks, routines, busywork, etc…..anything to keep our minds occupied by keeping the rest of us occupied.

Distance – We often distance ourselves from an unpleasant thought, feeling or association by evaluating or judging it: “That’s so dumb! Wow, how stupid of me! This is ridiculous!”; this way we can point to the source as something outside ourselves i.e. not our responsibility.

Not pretty, but these are three very real ways we tend to avoid the responsibility of our challenges – be they real or perceived.

Don’t feel bad if any of these resonate with you – we all rely on them at one time or another. But maybe, having come to understand how we fall prey to these mental habits, we can gradually overcome them, and in doing so stand up and regain more control over our fates as Individuals worthy of the moniker.

For my money – totally worth the effort. 🙂

 

Perspectives

the advantage of rational thought over feeling

by Paul Joo

Success. No matter how we define it, we all want it.

And yet we are so often afraid to stand up and go after it without some sort of “proof” that our risk, our efforts, our vulnerability during the process of reaching will not meet with failure.

So, does this “proof” actually exist? Sure! But the kicker is that you must furnish it for yourself!

And here’s one way to do it: Rather than trying to “take control of your emotions” (…uhm, how’s that worked out for ya so far?…), instead just follow these 3 simple steps, and Act On Rational Thoughts Only:

Step 1: Complete a Thought. Which looks like this: Cause + Effect + Outcome.

Step 2: Practice Completing a Thought until you can do it Quickly, Consistently, and Thoroughly.

Step 3: Apply to ALL Thoughts.

I guarantee that if you can discipline yourself to Act On Rational Thoughts rather than acting on your emotional ones (i.e. feelings), you will (a) SEE yourself achieving whatever you set out to achieve, and (b) find your self-confidence soaring to new heights. And then what more “proof” will you need? 🙂

Give it a try – the only thing you risk losing is self-doubt.

 

Perspectives

look to critical mass for successful transformation

by Paul Joo

Looking to achieve “critical mass” on a positive personal transformation? Give this a try.

Step 1: Whenever you feel a burst of positive motivational energy, I recommend that you immediately apply it to mapping out a Plan & Schedule, and keep at it until this tool is ready to use.

Step 2: Then every day just follow that plan ruthlessly i.e. completely disregarding your present motivation, energy levels, etc. This last bit is critical.

Following these 2 simple steps is the easiest and most reliable way to move yourself forward – at least for your first few months of positive transformation.

Remember: If you insist on relying on daily doses of motivation to keep you moving forward and acting appropriately during that time, you will most likely find yourself disappointed. Why? Because chances are pretty good that your default mental patterns are far too powerful to efficiently overcome on the basis of daily effort.

The best news is that once you have attained “critical mass” and installed this new path forward into your life, you will be free to rely on anything you wish to keep yourself moving forward.

 

Perspectives

harness the awesome power in choice

by Paul Joo

Feeling overwhelmed by the prospect of making some Big Choices? Here is something you can try today to take some of the discomfort out of the process:

First, recognize just how many little choices you already make in an hour, in a day.

Then work on focusing your attention on making as many of these little choices as possible with positive & expansive thoughts in mind (rather than fear-based autopilot feelings).

Simple, but surprisingly effective. Give it a try!

 

Perspectives

are you afraid of being “greedy”?

by Paul Joo

“Greed”. Certainly one of the most commonly misapplied & misunderstood concepts in use today. Let’s have a look.

First off, here is what greed is NOT: “Wanting more or better.” If this was so, then you could safely accuse ¾ of the planet of “being greedy”, which would be neither fair nor accurate. So, what then is a better definition?

Greed: “Wanting more or better than you can use.”

The simple fact is that the truly greedy are easy to spot, for they are not only selfish & irresponsible, but impractical as well.

So, if you ever find yourself feeling guilty for wanting more or better, remember this definition, and perhaps you can “check yourself before you wreck yourself”. 🙂

 

Perspectives

the missing link between imagination & realization

by Paul Joo

“If you can imagine it, you can become it.”

I’ve always had mixed feelings about this saying. I believe in the principle behind it, but the hint of something akin to “magic” being responsible for the leap from imagination to realization has always irritated me.

Upon reflection, what’s bothered me is that there seems to be a middle step missing. So I set out to discover it, and here it is, that missing link:

Once you can imagine something, you are guaranteeing that that thing is now become a Possibility, rather than just a wish.

You see, if you can imagine or visualize a thing, then you’ve already adopted a mindset that is going to influence your thoughts & actions in its direction, so what was once only an idea or wish is now a real Possibility. And with the confidence of a Possibility in your sights, you are naturally more likely to think & act in ways that ultimately attract, achieve, attain, or manifest it.

So instead of simply Imagination -> Reality, the process actually works like this:

Imagination -> Genuine Possibility -> Reality!

 

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