Category Archives: Perspectives

Perspectives, thoughts & tools for cultivating Mindfulness

a harsh truth of wanting “better”

FACT: You don’t deserve better unless you demand better.

So if you really want “better”, a good place to start is developing your character such that you never invite destructive people to run roughshod over you.

This is one of the personal responsibilities of an individual.

Give it some thought.

 

life’s a lot like buying a watch

All watch aficionados are familiar with this piece of advice for anyone looking to buy a watch: “Price, Quality, Style – pick two.”

What this amounts to is that if you want a favourably priced and high quality watch, you will likely have to compromise on style.

If you want a favourably priced and stylish watch, you will likely have to compromise on quality.

And if you insist on having both high quality & style, you must be prepared to pay the price.

I find that Life tends to run along more or less the same lines…

 

goal-setting is NOT the same thing as wishful thinking

Just a few thoughts on a few differences I’ve noticed between goals (GS) and wishful thinking (WT).

  • GS: INTEND to achieve
  • WT: HOPE to achieve

 

  • GS: Belief that you CAN
  • WT: NO belief that you CAN

 

  • GS: Uncertainty re HOW => Possibility
  • WT: Uncertainty re HOW => Impossibility

 

  • GS: Emotional ATTACHMENT
  • WT: Emotional DETACHMENT

 

  • GS: INVESTMENT of daily effort
  • WT: SQUANDERING of daily effort

 

  • GS: RISK = MISSED accomplishment => DISAPPOINTMENT
  • WT: RISK = NO accomplishment => FAILURE

Hope this can offer some clarity if the lines between the two have been a bit blurry.

accountability is by you for you, no-one else

Accountability is not about punishment; accountability just means “It’s up to you.

It means that if you broke it, take the responsibility to fix it! And if you can’t fix it yourself, take the responsibility to get help to do so. And if that’s not possible, then make sure you learn something from the situation.

Ultimately, the inherent value of accountability is that it promotes self-reliance & self-improvement. And who couldn’t benefit from a little more of that? 🙂

 

hope & determination can make the difference

I think we as human beings require two key ingredients in order for us to cultivate our courage: hope & determination. And for me, here’s what they boil down to.

Hope: Belief in possibilities from WITHOUT.

Determination: Belief in potential from WITHIN.

If we can cultivate and maintain both of these in our lives, it seems to me that we’ll always be able to find the courage to live at our best.

“Maturity is to not hide one’s strength out of fear, and consequently live below one’s best.” – Dag Hammarskjold

 

can you really afford to shrink your brain?

To all those who take pride in multitasking, a public service announcement:

Not only has multitasking been repeatedly proven to make you less productive, but over time, doing multiple things at once also physically shrinks parts of your brain.

Yep. Your brain. The affected areas are linked with emotional control, decision making, empathy, and responding appropriately to rewards. Nice, eh?

Just say NO to shrinkage! 🙂

never relinquish your own good judgement

Our lives are full of demands and requests. They can come from anywhere: home or work, from others and from within our own minds.

But no matter where they originate, the critical point is how we choose to respond to them. Because how we choose to respond has a profound impact on how we are treated by others, and most importantly on our own self-respect.

So when faced with a demand or request, you can choose ACCEPT it or to ACQUIESCE to it.

To ACQUIESCE means to give in to a demand or request, and subsequently to something or someone.

By allowing yourself to acquiesce you effectively merge – without challenge or evaluation – into someone else’s context. As such, you run the risk of ceding your will, initiative or control. A further risk is that you might eventually experience your will – or sense of self – becoming inexorably eroded from repeatedly compromising your value system or principles.

To ACCEPT is to make a proactive choice to adapt based on your own considered evaluation and judgement.

The key to doing this effectively is making the effort of will to pause while the request is sent to your mental think-tank for evaluation and consideration. This gives you the freedom to either deliberately accept the option as consistent or consonant with your value system, or consciously reject it because it isn’t. Whichever you choose, exercising your will in this responsible manner – guided by your thinking, not your feelings – will give you positive control over whatever choices you are presented with in life.

The Bottom Line:

Free will notwithstanding, circumstances are not always ideal, so at times the choice between acceptance or acquiescing may seem to be determined by the nature of a particular circumstance. Such is life. But as long as the choices you ACCEPT are in the main deliberate ones for which you confidently have a reasonable rationale, you’ll stay aligned with your values while exercising your potential and freedom of will, which is always a good thing.