Life is short. Think fast.Self-Awareness, mindful decisions, critical thinking, think better,

do you really want “better”? okay…

June 9, 2014August 9, 2018 by Paul Joo

Everyone wants to both FEEL good and DO well. But our emotional “logic” can often lead us astray from the very result we seek. Here’s an example.

When people FEEL lousy, they generally don’t DO so well. So they naturally focus their attention on trying to FEEL better. This appears to make sense – “…when I FEEL better I DO better”.

Unfortunately, this is not often a reality. Instead, what most often happens is that they get stuck trying to make themselves FEEL better. It’s like trying to fall asleep – the more you tell yourself “Fall asleep NOW! I really need to sleep! C’mon sleep!”, the wider awake you end up. Same thing with trying to FEEL better. Doesn’t work.

Then what does work? Trying to KNOW better.

Here’s a simple yet powerful pattern that you need to realize: When you KNOW better, you DO better. And when you DO better, you naturally FEEL better – about yourself, the world, everything!

And here’s a bonus: Once you FEEL better, you are even more inclined to want to KNOW better. And when you KNOW better you are even more inclined to DO better, which of course makes you FEEL even better.

Terrifically positive cycle, eh? Give it a try.

Perspectives

you can earn the freedom you want

March 28, 2014August 9, 2018 by Paul Joo

When you dig deeper into the phrase “I want freedom”, you’ll find that what people really want is “freedom of choice”. But this interpretation can be misleading, because what most people really want is specifically “control over whatever impacts their lives”.

So what’s the difference? Well, while most people say they crave “freedom of choice”, few people actually enjoy making choices; most find it difficult and stressful e.g. What if they make the wrong one? What if they regret their choice? etc.

So at the end of the day, what most people want is not more freedom to make even more choices! Rather, they want the feeling of “freedom of choice” without having to actually make tough choices; freedom without the accompanying Responsibilities & Risks of choice.

What’s going on here? Well, once upon a time when we were young, most of us experienced a sincere desire for true freedom of choice. However, at that time we didn’t have any idea of the harsh realities of the Responsibilities & Risks inherent in making any choice. As adults, though, after years of real-world “experience” (e.g.. having some of our major choices effect unimagined consequences) we have a healthy respect for – and perhaps even anxiety over – the Responsibilities & Risks inherent in Choice.

And that is why, although we may still feel that familiar desire for “control” over whatever impacts our lives, we can still prove through our behaviour to be unwilling to accept both the Responsibilities AND Risks of choice.

The crux of the matter is that the Responsibilities AND the Risks of choice are each one side of the same coin that we call Choice! So the inescapable truth is that it is impossible to accept ONLY Responsibility OR Risk! You must accept BOTH or NEITHER, simply because they are both always present together – again, two sides of the same coin: Choice.

The takeaway is twofold: First, you must make a blanket decision to accept both the Responsibilities AND the Risks of choice as the investment cost of true freedom. Second, you must understand that your reality will be entirely dependent upon which side of the coin you decide to use as your anchor from this point forward. You can decide that Choice represents RESPONSIBILITY, in which case making choices will give you a feeling of inherent control. Or you can decide that Choice represents RISK, in which case making choices will cause you anxiety and the feeling of living perpetually under threat.

You must decide for yourself. Your future awaits your choice.

Perspectives

never ever ever give up

March 20, 2014August 9, 2018 by Paul Joo

“It’s just a flesh wound!”

The Black Knight never gives up.

We shouldn’t either.

🙂

Perspectives

believe in infinite possibilities and win

March 2, 2014August 9, 2018 by Paul Joo

If you don’t believe in possibility, you won’t set any Goals to aim for.

Without any goals in mind, you’ve nothing from which to Expect any payoff.

With no payoff in mind, you’ve no Motivation to do anything.

Without any motivation, you’ll take no consistent Targeted Action.

Without any targeted action, you’ll Achieve nothing.

Bottom Line: Whether you are convinced by particle physics or otherwise, the fact remains that Infinite Possibilities Exist.

So set your Goals with confidence, Expect positive results, and Achieve your best.

Perspectives

making choices makes you powerful

February 25, 2014August 9, 2018 by Paul Joo

While there are many challenges to living a happy and contented life, I’d say without reservation that confusion among the concepts of LIKING, WANTING and CHOOSING is responsible for a disproportionately huge amount of human misery & frustration. So here is my attempt to reduce some of that suffering by eliminating its cause.

LIKING is not the same thing as CHOOSING! They are 2 completely different concepts!

LIKING is akin to wishing, or even hoping, and it is strictly emotional. While CHOOSING may begin with wishing or hoping, it always concludes in physical action that is proof of the choice you’ve made. Consider this deeply.

As for WANTING – it is simply a bridge between LIKING and CHOOSING.

WANTING starts with the WHY underpinning your LIKING, and then it infuses it with your Will, ideally to such a degree that you end up making the best choice for yourself i.e. CHOOSING what you were LIKING in the first place!