A man will often be inaccurately judged by OTHERS according to what he DOES.
A man will always be accurately judged by THE UNIVERSE according to what he IS.
A man is best judged by HIMSELF according to what he IS & DOES.
The real Man is responsible for what he IS ; this then directs all that he DOES.
In my opinion, one of the greatest hurdles to success for most people is adaptability.
Success often depends on your ability to adapt to new ideas, strategies & information – as though you’ve been in possession of them all your life.
Which of course requires a combination of confidence, intelligence, and maturity of character.
Which is why adaptability is often one of the greatest hurdles to success for most people.
Most people either fail to address or simply cannot recognize, understand or believe HOW they have become what they’ve become.
Consequently, they refuse to believe WHAT they have become; they simply continue on defying their reality.
And so they have neither the basis nor sufficient motivation to take the steps required to successfully transform themselves into the person they really want to become.
So…. look at HOW you’ve become what you are – and WHAT it actually is – with courage and without regret. And just get cracking.
When you make a serious mistake – and we all do from time to time – how do you (a) transform it from disappointment into a learning experience, and (b) resolve to not repeat that same mistake again?
The key is to discipline yourself to remain brutally objective, and most importantly avoid the allure of self-pity in any of its comfortable forms.
Consider: If you let self-pity seep in while you are reflecting on your mistake, then your reflections rapidly & inevitably spin in the direction of self-punishment, and you end up trapped in a morass of self-pity & regret. Thus occupied, you are not likely to recognize facts and understand why you made the mistake in the first place. The outcome? You are most likely doomed to repeat that mistake in the future.
If, however, you doggedly refuse to permit self-pity to gain any purchase during your reflections, then once you’ve thoroughly understood why you originally made the mistake, you are in a position of power to resolve to never make it again.
Remember: By just refusing to allow self-pity to pollute your thinking, your personal power increases tenfold.
Love is…
… so relationships based on Love can help you develop true independence.
Approval is…
… so relationships based on Approval can undermine your independence.
Ask yourself which type of relationships you would prefer to cultivate?
The good news is that if you’re strong enough, you can CHOOSE! 🙂
Common Scenario: You find yourself facing a daunting backlog of tasks based on a seemingly endless To-Do list.
Common Response: Procrastination.
Common Justification for Procrastination: You convince yourself that there is a distinct advantage to be gained by waiting to decide. Naturally, once decisions are made, then you can attack each task with confidence!
Common Mistake: Failing to appreciate the fact that a backlog of tasks most often indicates a backlog of decisions i.e. this is not an “insufficient time & energy” issue, but rather an “emotional avoidance” issue.
Uncommon Solution: Debunk for yourself right now the myth that there is any advantage whatsoever in avoiding a decision. HINT: You can ease into acceptance by negotiating with yourself “Decide NOW….I can always follow through with specific actions as required… y’know, later.”
The power of decision is a muscle – use it well & often or lose it to atrophy.
Wouldn’t it be great to always be able to “do what’s best”? It would sure be handy to know that you’re always guaranteed to make the right choice or the right move, in every case.
Unfortunately, the nature of our reality is such that we are seldom in a position to know precisely what is the absolute “best” choice or response to a given situation. And this is true no matter how smart or experienced we happen to be. So at the end of the day, focusing our attention on doing what’s best really just delivers big stress, and not much else.
The takeaway is that regardless of the circumstances, your best option is always to stay focused on simply – and genuinely – doing your best.
Consider: if you do the absolute best that you are capable of at any given time, then whether the outcome ends up being optimal or not, you are in a position to move forward with confidence from that point. This holds true for any scenario. Conversely, if you focus solely on trying to do what’s best (vs. your best) you are more than likely to end up disappointed with the results. The reason being that even though your brains & experience are supporting your opinion of what you think is best at the time, you cannot actually predict exactly what will prove to be “best” for every set of circumstances. That’s just our imperfect life.
So, if you ever find yourself struggling to “do what’s best”, stop, let go and shift your focus to doing your best with whatever you have at hand. And if you ever feel inclined to beat yourself up for not having done “what’s best”, take a step back, realize the pointlessness of that judgment, and refresh your perspective. If you did your best then you gained a valuable learning experience. And if you didn’t do your best, then figure out why…and how to do your best next time – and every time after that! 🙂